Meet and Greet

I'm not sure if I went into any sort of detail about the experience Batman and I had with our previous primary care physician.

I met this doctor back in 2000. I was very very sick and on the brink of pneumonia. I was not quite 22 years old and had never chosen my own physician before. This guy was close by and since I hated driving in the winter, I was sold.

He was with me through all of my pregnancies, including the two miscarriages I had. He was with me when I was diagnosed diabetic, when I was hospitalized for a swollen trachea, and when I tore my hamstring at roller derby.

I wanted very badly to have a longterm relationship with a doctor because explaining health history is so daunting.

The thing is....I was always scared to go to him and tell him what I had or had not done.

Over the years I've struggled with weight, depression, anxiety and they have all influenced each other. The more I ate, the more I weighed, the more depressed I became, the more anxious I became, the more I ate, the more....you get the idea.  My depression often made me stop taking my medications and checking my blood sugars. He always scolded me but I just accepted it.

I thought I'd finally be able to please him (I'm paying him to provide me a professional service, yet I was always worried about him being unhappy with me!) when I'd joined derby and lost some weight and my blood sugar was under good control.

It wasn't enough. I lost 20lbs and he said "You still weigh too much" My a1c levels were at 5.8 but I never got that pat on the back or feeling that it was enough.

The last time I went to see him I was discussing the medication that I was taking and how I was having difficulty remembering to take a second pill. I wanted to know if there was a one a day option. When I mentioned that I couldn't remember he said "Now you're 33 years old and you should know better...."

I stopped him and told him not to speak to me like that, he is not my father and I would appreciate it if he would change his attitude. He apologized but that broke us right there. I wouldn't do exactly what he wanted, no matter what it was because I didn't want him to think he could bully me into it.

I know I was ultimately hurting myself in that process but I finally realized that our relationship was not working. I was not getting any better and he wasn't really wanting to help me anymore. I had made multiple requests for blood testing strips for my sugars and he would never give them to me. When I called back in for a refill on my asthma medication that I have been taking for 26 years they said I had to come in for an appointment and asked why I hadn't dropped off blood sugars. I lost it. I told them that I had asked and I couldn't make him do his job and I needed the asthma medication because I needed to breathe. She insinuated that I had not used it correctly and I told her that I was tired of how I was treated there and was thinking of finding a new doctor. She said she'd pass the info along to the doctor.

His response? "I talk to her that way because she is not compliant with her treatment. If she is unhappy with her care perhaps she should find another doctor."  And then he called in my asthma medication.

Find another doctor we did.  It took some research because I was not picking a name out of a book. I asked friends and family who they see and made phone calls. Some I did not call because I did not feel they were a good fit. We finally found a doctor who required a meet and greet before seeing her.

I love this idea. Our insurance requires us to choose a primary care physician and we are unable to switch for 3 months after our selection. I don't want to get stuck with another narcissistic know it all for even three months.

Today was our meet and greet. The doctor was young and vibrant and very thorough in explaining how they operate in their practice. She answered questions for us and it felt like she was really excited to be welcoming new patients. I shared some of my experience with the previous doctor and she assured me that she understood, that she is a mother and that many women our age experience mental health issues and they can handle them well. 

So tomorrow I all our insurance and request her to be listed as our primary doctor and then I can make an appointment.

I'm so ready to get on with this chapter of my journey toward health!