Positive Self Talk

This entry is likely to be long and a bit scattered so bear with me. 

Today I watched the movie "The Secret." I've heard the concepts from the movie several times but had never really watched it.  I had to watch it in increments between a screaming teething baby and various other household tasks. I really wanted to HEAR the whole message so I can implement it.  If you are not sure what I am talking about, please Google it because I know I won't explain it very well.  My interpretation of it is just that--mine.  So I think you should watch it for yourself anyway.

It made me realize that I have been dwelling far too long on what I don't want rather than on what I do want. Focusing on what I don't have rather than what I do have. Focusing on what I can't do instead of what I can do. 

I dug up an old journal of mine and decided to follow the advice in the movie and write down what I am thankful for. I wrote all the things I am happy to have/do/be and that I am grateful for all the things I will have/do/be.  I read through some old entries and realized they all focused on negative things as well.  It's hard to reframe your thinking.  It's so easy to fall into the "I can't, I never, I always" way of thinking negatively.

I have been working on having an attitude of gratitude for awhile now. I'm always thinking about how thankful I am for the OBVIOUS things--my kids, my husband, my home, etc.  I am moving on now to being grateful for all of the things around me because even the bad things can end up good.

I have to tell you about a time that I inadvertently used the methods from "The Secret" and it worked. There was a particular building in the apartment complex where I used to live. It was overlooking a large grassy area where my daughter could play. There were no basement apartments so no matter what I would have a balcony or a patio.  It seemed to be in a quieter spot than where I was living in another building. Every time I would walk by that building I would say "I am going to live in that building some day." I lived in that complex for 3 years and had just signed my third lease when our basement apartment flooded. I was 31 weeks pregnant and in the hospital when it happened. We were moved to another building in the complex.  To THE building. The one I was always saying I was going to live in. We only ended up living there for six months and it wasn't as great as I had anticipated but I never would have known that if I hadn't gotten the chance to live there.

And that wish/hope/goal I had came true because of really negative thing--losing my apartment to a flood.

And now that I have written that I realized that it worked another time. The neighborhood where we live now is really beautiful. I would drive through it sometimes when I was going from where I lived to where my parents live. I would look at the beautiful houses and say "I am going to live here some day" and I truly believed it.  And, well, I've been living here for almost a year now! 

In both of these instances I wasn't making a wish or really TRYING--it was just something I knew would happen one day and I felt confident about it.

Positive self-talk isn't a new concept but I think I was misunderstanding it before.  I was almost lying to myself before--fake it til you make it kind of thing.  But I wanted to reframe that and make it work tonight at derby practice.

I decided that I was going to banish the I can't/won't/don't attitude and thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts and affirmations of my abilities and my trust in my body. 

Tonight's mantra was "My body is strong and I can do this."  I repeated it in my head and even out loud several times.

And I'd say it was probably the best practice I've had in awhile. Even when I encountered something I was struggling with, I didn't let it break me down. When I felt like I was going to be defeated I would say "My body is strong and I can do this" and I would also visualize myself getting through the next 30 seconds or 2 minutes. 

So I have journaled about a lot of things I want for myself and my family and I'm going about making that happen. I'm visualizing my life as good as it can get--me healthy, my kids healthy my husband healthy.  And all of us are smiling. 

It really doesn't get better than that.