Another Baby Step

I checked my blood sugar today and adjusted my planned breakfast accordingly. I also took both doses of my medication.
Small steps toward getting my body healthy.
I'm exhausted from lack of sleep and a tough workout at the gym.
Time for bed!

Honesty

I went over on my calories today because my mom made cake and tuna casserole and I ate it. It was okay--I guess I'm just used to the way I cook and eat anymore, but I love to eat at my mom's when she cooks good food like that. But it leaves me hungry later on because it's a lot of carbs and not enough protein or fiber.

But it's okay because I was supposed to go to the gym tonight and would very easily work off that piece of cake.

My gym buddy canceled and I can't go without her.  (No really, it's her membership, I can't go alone--they won't let me in!)

Still hungry though.

So I ate the last two chocolate chip cookies we had.

And I *ALMOST* decided not to put them into myfitnesspal.  Because if I don't log them, they don't count I guess?

But I put them in there and saw how much I went over my calories.

I was honest with myself.

But you know what? It's not the end of the world. Tomorrow is a new day and I'll eat healthy and I'll get some exercise in and the days will go on.

I will have off days where I eat cake or cookies or pizza or Chinese food.

But I don't eat that way every day and I never will eat that way every day again.

Honest.

My Own Kinda Cardio

Today was a rough and busy day at home.
Baby Bug was super cranky--like super duper extra cranky. I'm not even sure she was feeling well most of the morning. She woke up extra early (7:30 instead of 9) so her sleep was cut short. She puked a little on me but I'm not sure if that was just because she drank too much milk or not. She cried and whined all morning. I tried putting her down for a nap FOUR times before it finally took.

Putting a 1 year old to bed should be considered cardio. I'm just sayin'.

I still managed to eat well today and got in a little workout hauling some boxes and laundry baskets up and down the stairs.  I made a delicious roasted chicken in the crockpot with some roasted red potatoes and green beans.

I ate cookies for dessert though. I don't even feel bad!

Because I had to do a second cardio workout at bedtime.....

Why do kids fight sleep? I'm heading there now and I just can't wait!

Something Clicked

I was discussing the whole vicious weight loss cycle with a friend tonight. You eat something unhealthy, feel guilty, eat even more unhealthy food, feel even more guilty. Rinse, repeat. I have been caught in this cycle over and over and over again in my life.
I thought I was there the other day when I wrote the entry about what happens after 2 weeks. Well guess what? I'm three weeks in and that was basically the only day that I got way off track. Last week I didn't exercise as much but this weekend alone I walked over 4 miles. I picked up a new used weight loss DVD. I finished a weight loss book (Jillian Michaels' "Slim For Life"--was a good easy read!) I didn't go over my calories all weekend.
I don't know what has clicked this time but I'm really glad it has.
I think my 48 hour Facebook break really helped show me that if I put my mind to it, I CAN break out of bad habits and do something that's healthier for me and for my family.
Since I did not get on Facebook at ALL yesterday and not until after the kids went to bed tonight, I got so much accomplished. I finished the book I mentioned. I started organizing the basement. I went hiking. I went for a 2 mile walk. I made delicious meals. I spent a lot of time with Batman and Baby Bug (Monkey was at her dad's new house.) I got a lot accomplished and feel proud of myself.
And I did not miss Facebook at all. Okay maybe in the few minutes before bed when I'd normally be checking it or in the car when Batman was driving. But the rest of the time, when I'd normally be reaching for my phone to check, I did something else. I've never been able to do that before.
Again, something has clicked.
What I really like about this blog is that when I come here to write, I am happy or proud or determined. All POSITIVE things. I haven't focused on how much I suck or been in a woe is me state of mind. If I am stuck, I ask for help. And I recognize that I'm a work in progress and I'm coming along quite nicely.
I'm doing awesome actually.

Fresh Air

I have this little secret.

I really ENJOY breaking a sweat and being active. Once I get started, I have a hard time stopping.

I never used to enjoy it until I played roller derby for 2 years. After I broke through those first couple of practices, I couldn't get enough of the endorphin rush!!

Sadly now what mostly stops me is time. I squeeze in my exercise during naptime or at night after the kids are in bed. I usually get an hour or two if Baby Bug naps particularly well but I have many other things to do in that time frame so I have to ration my time. But honestly--I could probably spend that whole 1 or 2 hours doing something to get the blood pumping.

Today was one of those days. Batman and I wanted to get a good workout in together but we had Baby Bug. I decided we'd go for a little hike. I could wear Baby Bug in my Mei Tei and off we'd go. Sadly we had tons of other things to do today but I DEMANDED that we squeeze in this activity.

Once we got out there I wanted to spend the day walking through and just enjoying the fresh air. We only got to hike the trails for about an hour before we needed to get back to reality--and Baby Bug had enough of not being able to get down and explore (sorry kiddo, we can't eat bugs and rocks!) I could have walked another hour or two. I just enjoy that feeling of knowing I'm doing my body good by moving around.

Batman and I are both doing pretty well with all of these little lifestyle adjustments. My mom even mentioned that it looked like I lost weight and Batman put on a shirt that used to be a little tight and it fit him much better. So something is changing. Let's keep it going.

I can't wait to get back out into the fresh air again!

Time to Unplug

I got into a Facebook fight today.
Mature no?
My feelings were valid and expressing them was not necessarily a bad thing. However, it turned into something much larger than I anticipated or intended. A couple dozen people responded to my post, with several posts each. Last I counted I had 65 comments.  That did not count the private messages I got. Of course 99% of these were in support of my perspective. The other 1% was the person about whom I was speaking. She didn't like it one bit and got snarky and all "woe is me" and defensive. It was infuriating.
But you know what?
I literally wasted HOURS of my day on this ridiculous Facebook argument.
HOURS--like close to 4 probably.
RI-DIC-U-LOUS.

I have had issue with how much I am on Facebook for awhile. Batman doesn't like it. Monkey gets frustrated when my face is constantly in my phone. Most of the time I am mindlessly scrolling through grumpy cat memes and breastfeeding pictures and ignoring game requests for Candy Crush. Sometimes I come across something meaningful and profound. Or I make playdates with other moms in the area. Or I share pictures of my cute kids with my family.

But approximately 80% of the time it's something I could have lived my whole life without needing to see.

And I look up and catch the tail end of Monkey tickling Baby Bug or Monkey trying to show me a new dance move she made up or Baby Bug bringing me a book to read or Batman tickling Baby Bug until she giggles. The tail END of that. And I'm in the same room--I should see ALL OF IT.

This is not to say that I have to be completely wrapped up in what they are doing every single second of every single day.

But there are many other things I could be doing instead of mindlessly scrolling through the endless sea of George Takei quotes and posts from The Oatmeal.

I could be reading (we have a goal of 25 books by the end of summer and we have about 18 left to go with one month left!) I could be exercising. I could be cleaning. I could be napping. I could be meal planning. I could be going through the things in the basement that I can sell to get extra cash. I could be going for a walk or taking the kids to the park or letting Baby Bug crawl from the front yard to the back or blowing bubbles and listening to her giggle.

Facebook is a nice place to catch up with friends and family and a nice place to zone out once in awhile, but it is time for me to zone in--on the things that are important to me.  I'm taking a 48 hour hiatus from Facebook. Doesn't seem like much but when you can barely go 7 minutes without checking your alerts, it's time to take a step back.

It's time to unplug and move around a little.

Two Weeks At a Time

Anyone who has battled weight and health issues for more than a few years knows this cycle I'm about to discuss.
I have started down the healthy eating and exercise road many many times in my adult life. I've lost weight. I've even made it several months doing one OR the other. But these things have to work together.
The last few times I've tried, I've made it anywhere from 2 weeks to 1 month fully committed to the changes I want to make. Then I slack a little around two weeks. Then I slack a little more. Then I just give up and the whole cycle begins in a few months.
This week has started my decline. I have worked out once. It was an hour long work out but it was just once on Tuesday. I've gone over my calories 2 out of the last 3 days.  And still been "hungry."
Today has been extremely stressful for me. It didn't start out that way. Well it kind of did. Neither child slept well last night--Baby Bug woke up somewhere between 2am and 3am and didn't want to go back to sleep unless I held her or she could kick me and Batman while bedsharing; Monkey woke me up THREE times between 4am and 5:15am. She was overly excited for a sleepover she's having with her BFF tonight. I had to get up early to get dinner in the crockpot and get the house tidied up so the lady I was babysitting for today didn't think I lived in a crackhouse. I started out the day exhausted but it was still okay. A little hectic with 2 extra kiddos here at lunchtime but manageable. Baby Bug went down for her nap relatively easy, Monkey and her BFF entertained themselves and I watched Toy Story with the little I was babysitting.
As soon as he left it went downhill. Baby Bug woke up far too soon, thus not getting a complete nap. Monkey and her BFF were barraging me with a constant stream of requests. And a cranky Baby Bug was screaming and whining at me non-stop until she went to bed about 15 minutes ago. The meal I made wasn't what the girls wanted and since BFF was a guest, I got pizza for them as a treat. Of course, I ate a piece. And then I ate dinner. And I overate because the food I prepared wasn't healthy or low-cal and I didn't snack today trying to save room for it. That backfired. ]
I am finding tons of excuses and I really hate it.
I KNOW better but am having a really hard time not eating my feelings and keep justifying my lack of desire to exercise (I'm tired, I would exercise if I could go to the gym, It's too late, etc)
I really really do not know how to break this cycle and I want to.
For those of you who DID, how did you do it?